Saturday, March 20, 2010

What qualifies a woman to be a mother?


What makes any woman a mother? Is it merely carrying a child inside her womb for 9 months? Or is it feeding a child of her breast? If you ask me I would say neither, I don’t think that these are the things that make a mother, at least not my mother.

I met my mother when I was 7 years old. My biological mother died when I was six and my father re-married again after her death. I guess he thought he wouldn’t be able to handle both me and my brother on his own or he simply realized the fact that no one can ever replace a mother in a child’s life. My father married Karima, or Koki as I like to call her sometimes. Karima is an Arabic word used as an adjective to express generosity. I believe there isn’t a better word in the whole world to describe my mum than this.

I can’t really remember the early days of meeting Koki, but they tell me that when I first saw her I hid behind my dad, but I was also the one started calling her mum shortly after she married him.

I decided to write these lines today because I thought the whole world should know about my mum and how great she is. I look back at my life and I thank God for the bless he granted me the day he brought Koki to our lives. All the Arabic movies ever made portrayed the step-mother as an evil person whose main purpose is to turn the life of her step-children into hell, but I guess I was lucky because the woman who came into our house wasn’t a step-mother, but a true mum with a heart filled with love that is sufficient for the whole world.

My mum didn’t carry me inside her womb but it is between her arms that I found peace when I needed it. She didn’t feed me of her breast but she nourished me just like a delicate rose with all the care you could ever think of. I remember the nights when I used to get sick whether because of a simple cold, fever, stomach pain or whatever and she used to sit next to me and take care of me for days till I get better. I still remember the look in her eyes as I gazed through my bed at her; it was a strange look that combined tenderness and worries, it had a certain beauty and mystery in it, kinda like the Mounalisa smile.

I would be a liar if I said that our life was a fairy tale, we used to fight like cats and dogs; we fought about everything and anything, but that what mothers and daughters do. After every fight and even though I would be mad as hell from her yet deep down I knew that she acted the way she did out of concern and because she cared. My mother has always been there for me, even when we used to disagree and I ended up having it my way, she would support my decision and when things went bad she would stand up for me.

Mum always encouraged me to have my own opinion and to always be strong and not to fear anything. It was her wisdom and courage that gave me the strength I needed to go on with my live and be the person I am today.

I think the thing that makes my mother the best mother is the fact that she is not really my mother (well biologically speaking) she was a complete stranger that walked into our lives and took me and my brother under her wings and treated us with all the sweetness and love you would expect from any mother. And even when we were rebellious and ungrateful, and believe me sometimes we were, yet whenever we needed her support or unconditional love she was there, simply because she is an amazing person.

So today, on Mother’s Day, this is what I want to tell my mother

Dear Mum,

I want you to know that to me you were never just my mother, you were my teacher, my role model, my nurse and above all my best friend, you were there on my times of happiness but more importantly on my times of sadness and needs, when I needed you the most you were there for me, you are my rock. You did everything you can to make me happy and I know that everything I am today and everything I have is because of you.

Officially, on paper and to the whole world you might be my step-mother but to me you will always be my mum … the best mum in the whole world.

I love you